nice to meet you anyway

Yep, you heard it here first! Bathers season is here and no matter what state or country your from and what you may call them, swimsuits are the cause of headaches everywhere as summer is once again, just around the corner. I know personally, I find the very idea of bathers shopping depressing, due to my so-called ‘winter-weight’ which is really ‘yr 12 weight’ that is probably here to stay.

HOWEVER! My life is made a teeeeny bit better by the RETURN OF THE ONE PIECE. And thank god for that. As a person who is not, never will be and doesn’t want to be, super-skinny, I’m rejoicing at the revival of the one piece. Personally, the person who made it go away in the first place should be shot. Some people don’t want to prance around with 10 square centimeters of fabric on them! Deal with it!

The bathers market is a very wide one and I’ve enjoyed perusing the yearly ’swimsuit issues’ of various magazines and marvelling at the number of bathers I could never and/or would never wear. Sure Paris Hilton might wear a crocheted pair of bathers but shes very thin and has an opposite-of-curvy body type. People should not be making of example of these people. Just cause Uma Thurman wore a high-waisted bikini, in white no less, doesn’t mean your average chica can too. To those of you who are blessed with a bikini ready body, or for those willing to work for it, enjoy your bikini-ini-ini. But for normal girls, somewhat curvy, not unhealthy but with some padding round the edges, we’ll stick to something more modest like the one piece up there. [Jets by Jesika Allen, if anyone was wondering]

So some brands to check out, for a girl on a bit of a budget too.

- Seafolly; great separates to mix and match with or just buy one and wear last years bottoms, your wallet will love you. Personally, I’m after the blue one piece at the not toooo bad price of $110. ps. ruching or gathering on the sides is the ultimate in flattery.

- Tigerlily; every year this brand has great stuff but their prices are also inching upwards and upwards. Beware of the seperates as you will spend more. Also not particularly body conscious. Gorgeous though, for those who can.

- Von Zipper; there is a graphic checkered one piece in black and white with some colour here and there which I think I’m in love with, its low cut for a little extra skin, and its $79.95!

- Mambo; they’re back [I remember Mambo from back in yr 8] and their bathers are very cool and young, great patterns, if you can pull off the cut-out look, you’ll find something here.

- Jets; you will pay a little more, but its so worth it! Stunning, stunning stuff. Check out the website, amazing catalogue this year.

- Rochford; simple, elegant, affordable. Winner.

- Baku; Never heard of them till this year but lots of options for everyone, gotta love versatility. Covers all the trends and lots of different cuts. Very well priced too, bonus!

I could go on, but I won’t. Shops wise, [for you Melbournites] don’t rely on Ozmosis or Jetty Surf. Make the trek to Swimwear Galore in Fitzroy or even David Jones and Myer for waaaay more options and brands. I know Swimwear Galore has many of those brands I just mentioned, and theres a shop in Camberwell thats well known for the same thing.

Bathers shopping tip numero uno: *drumroll please* If you MUST take a friend, then make it an honest one, the truth may hurt but you’ll be grateful once you get to the beach. Take you sister, or if you don’t have one, your mum. Trust me, they may not have the same taste but they will say when something looks wrong on you. Oh, and NEVER rely on shop assistants, no matter how nice they seem, at the end of the day theyre doing a job.

Good luck to one and all, I know I need it!

What do you do when your bored? For me, its usually go on the internet, go on the computer or read a magazine. Occasionally [and i mean OCCAISIONALLY] I’ll do some homework but thats a very rare mood and usually doesn’t last very long. BUT my point is, there are millions, maybe billions of websites out there, and so many of them are such crap I don’t know why people bother. Wait, why do I bother??

 

Fortunately for Conrad, I love love love this dress and it looks really great on her so kudos! Wish I could wear it. So wouldn’t suit me though.

Another American It girl Caroline D’Amore who no one outside of American knows. I’m really not sure if even they know why shes famous though, but this all black ensemble is very in and saved from being boring by the funky accessories. If patent leather wasn’t so cool, I’d be over it. But remember less is more.

 

 Ali Larter is simple and elegant is satin navy number, flattering and cool, love the sleeve length. I’d quite like to try this dress on, if you could send it on over Ali?

Everyone agrees Rachel McAdams is gorgeous and she’s so on trend here it almost makes me sick. Almost. The block colour thing could go wrong but it doesn’t here, black, white and red is classic. Love the shape as well and the Pockets!!! Love it. Platform shoes are perfect for this pint sized actress and though I don’t love ankle straps this girl really doesn’t have to worry about making her calves look big now does she.

Recently dubbed trashtastic chic Kimberly Stewart gets a close but no cigar badge for this number. Too many garbage bag jokes can be made for this outfit to be a winner, though the concept has potential.

I also have a personal vendetta against lurex leggings, because if there was ever a trend made for the runways and the size zeros, it was this one.

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I nearly had an aneurism when I saw this photo. Last time I saw Jojo she was bopping her head to how sad she was to no longer be in love as a 14 yr old[ish] idiot. When I saw the photo I actually saw the dress first which I actually like, if it is a little colourful. At the Heatherette fashion show though, I get it.

But Jojo gets some respect for the good hair and impressive amount of maturity she’s showing here, though who know how real it is. How old is she now anyway? Can’t be much older than, well, me. Haha.

 What. The. Hell. Mischa Mischa Mischa. A girl who gets it right so often, when Mischa gets it wrong, she really goes all out. And at a Marc Jacobs fashion show? Capes should be left to Josh Goot. And I mean on his runway.

 

This was fun. I should do this more often.